Saturday, 26 November 2016

Nu vrei copii? Relax, uneori nici propriile lor mame nu-i vor.

Anul trecut am publicat acest articol în care declaram că nu sunt deloc tentat să am copii, ba mai mult, susțineam că în lumea în care trăim mi se pare mai firesc să nu-ți dorești un copil decât să faci unul. Acum tocmai am dat peste un editorial preluat de către site-ul BBC, în care o scriitoare franțuzoaică, mamă a doi copii, face niște afirmații pe care extrem de rar le auzi din gura unei mame. 

"We live in an child-obsessed society. The child is considered a guarantee of happiness, of personal development, and even of social status.

Those who are child-free (there's no equivalent term in French) are described as selfish and suspected of being bad citizens. Many of them feel pressure to justify themselves: "I can't have any, but I love children." To which I hasten to reply, just to spice up the conversation: "I have some, but have reasons to hate children." 
Not that I'm in a position to argue for a declining birth rate. Having two children, I cannot tell others: "Don't do as I did." Yet I also find it hypocritical to hide behind the smokescreen of idealism ("There's nothing more beautiful than a child's smile") to justify my questionable life choices. I am a fierce opponent of brainwashing and of pathos. It's time to stop marketing the babies-spell-happiness idea. Enough of this big "baby-illusion"! 
These days, it's impossible to express one's experience of motherhood other than to say: "I am a blissful mother (or father), my children are my joy." Taking pleasure in parenthood is compulsory. In my experience, the reality is very different: raising a child is 1% happiness and 99% worry. 
Being a parent has become a very time-consuming job. Many parents become overly involved in the education of their children, and turn into hyper-parents present on every front - ensuring a balanced breakfast, extracurricular activities, help with homework. 
[...] 
Raising children not only left me exhausted but it left me bankrupt as well. Soon, my daughter will have finished her studies. I will have a big party that day. Finally, I won't have to support her: what a relief! And what a saving! 
Why are we constantly told that "children are our future"? It's precisely because we're not sure of actually having a future. Our passion for children is linked to our increasing concern for the future of humanity. Exhausted assets, increasingly polluted natural resources... in what devastated, ravaged world will we live tomorrow? And to think that we've given up trying to change it! 
Children, welcome and good luck to you as you make your way in this rotten world that your parents, who love you very very much, have left you. They spent so much time looking after you that they didn't have time to transform it. They gave up, quit, hung up their hats. "The child is what's most important..." You'll forgive us, won't you?"


Desigur, nu poate fi decât o tembelă și o frustrată. Câtă mojicie în a spune lucrurilor pe nume din perspectiva ei așa cum poate niciun alt părinte nu s-ar încumeta!